Where Black Women Go to Exhale: Reclaiming Ease as Resistance

I remember the moment I stepped into the airport for my first long-haul international solo trip. I was excited, buzzing with anticipation.. until I wasn’t. Just before heading through security, I wanted to break down in tears after saying goodbye to my mom. Fear, loneliness, and self-doubt crept in all at once: Was I making the right decision? But the moment I landed in Barcelona, everything shifted. This city, with its late mornings, long meals, and slow, intentional rhythm, mirrored back to me exactly what I never knew was available—raised in an American rhythm of hustle now, live later. Work. Achieve. Then earn your rest. But in Barcelona, I saw another way. One that didn’t demand exhaustion as proof of worth. A version of life untouched by the grind, where time moved with intention and joy wasn’t reserved for after achievement, but woven into the everyday.

June 2016. My first international trip, studying in Barcelona, Spain

Redefining Freedom Through Solo Travel

What has solo travel taught you about the meaning of freedom? How does that freedom feel in your body, your daily life, your spirit?

Solo travel has taught me that everywhere you go in the world, everyone generally desires the same 3 things: love, respect, and a good quality of life. I'm reminded that freedom is our birthright, not something to be earned based on the ideals of a white, capitalistic society. That freedom feels like full belly breaths and a calm nervous system. It means the softening of expectations, releasing attachment to the outcome, and showing up as my full self, without shrinking or performing. Freedom to create my own experience without needing to control the outcome—or others.

Shedding Old Beliefs

What beliefs were you raised with about luxury, ease, or who gets to access those things? How did solo travel challenge or change them?

I used to believe Black people had to prove themselves worthy of access to luxury and ease. Not through my direct upbringing, rather picked up in society where we prominently saw luxury and travel media marketed towards wealthy, elite, and white/European audience. We even see it in today's society where white American travelers are often still shocked that Black Americans are able to afford the same (or better) luxury, high-end experiences. Solo travel has allowed those ingrained images to dissolve in my mind. I'm unlearning the need to prove my existence and belonging and just be.

What I’ve Discovered Instead

What have you actually found through traveling alone? How does it contrast with what you expected?

Traveling alone revealed something more expansive than the freedom to experience the world as I please. I've learned that luxury is not just about staying at five-star hotels. It's about five-star peace. I learned that ease is not the absence of obstacles and suffering but the ease in which I allow into my life as these inevitable earthly things occur. I've also met great people everywhere I go, but most importantly I've become a great friend to myself.

Embracing the Soft Life as Resistance

What does the soft life actually look and feel like for you—and what false ideas did you have to unlearn to live it?

The soft life isn’t the absence of problems—it’s the ease with which I move through them. It’s being rooted in self-trust and making choices that align with my spirit, not the world’s demands. To me, soft life is using my free will to create the life I desire without apology. It’s an act of resistance—especially as a Black woman navigating systems that have long denied us tenderness, softness, and care.

Solo travel has become a pathway to this life. In cities like Barcelona and further east, where presence, family, and well-being are valued over hustle and grind, I learned to let go. I found joy in the quiet rituals, slow mornings, long walks, unhurried meals, not in how I looked or how much I spent. I stopped performing and started listening—to my body, my spirit, and my intuition.

Solo travel taught me how to embody joy, not chase it. How to deepen self-connection and embrace a way of living that centers peace, pleasure, and freedom.

basking in the sun on my solo trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Traveling While Black and Unapologetically Whole

Traveling while Black and solo comes with its own set of considerations—nuances that can’t be overlooked. Safety. Acceptance. Whether you’ll be seen, welcomed, or misunderstood. But one thing I’ve learned: even in spaces that don’t affirm my Blackness, I still belong. My presence is not a question—it’s a declaration. I’ve written about this in more detail in my tips for solo Black travelers post, where I offer practical guidance for navigating this path. But what I want Black women to walk away with is this: your life is yours to design. Traveling solo isn’t just about going somewhere—it’s about reclaiming your time, your peace, your power. It’s about living with intention and showing up for yourself in a world that rarely asks you how you’re doing.

Now more than ever, we need to prioritize our needs—especially amid global unrest, burnout, and cultural shifts. The world keeps asking Black women to show up, even when it doesn’t show up for us. But we’re changing that narrative. We’re redefining what it means to show up—for ourselves first.

Intentional travel reminds me to hold space for myself. To unlearn the fast-paced rhythm of American life and let my soul move in its own time. To be mindful, curious, and open in unfamiliar cultures. And to live with the deep knowing that freedom is mine to claim.